Softening In the Rough Moments

A universal lesson & where we are now... by Raine Banday-Akau

I think that I have lived by, until now, the rule that hard moments make hard|tough|strong people. I have perpetuated this rule on myself- even if I don't necessarily uphold it for my children. It wasn't until we went to Aotearoa and I was basically put on my...side- by the universe. Where my intention was to be fluttering around like a butterfly, commune with family/friends and do some deep visioning- the entities seemed to have had other plans...

If I can draw any comparison between this trip and any relatable experience, it would be kind of like stubbing your toe multiple times a day...every day...for 2 weeks. Sure there were moments when I said to myself "This is a lot, let's go home", but I was already in too deep...Being that I was in a foreign country and I had hauled my three little ones, the hubs (a kiwi himself) and my mama, I was determined to make this experience COUNT.

It was there that the trip met its ultimate doom(cue looming darkness)...when I stepped outside of the flow and float I had grown in wisdom to know- and situated myself in the space of "control", knowing full well I didn't belong there (what my auntie calls playing God). I pushed and pushed. I held everyone up- even my littles in the face of their uncertainty(wisdom) of leaving "without everyone", specifically: their aunties, two dogs, friends and what they defined as the comfort of home. I tried making plans with folks, made a schedule to attempt to balance family activities with visioning and guess what? Hot off the press. This just in.I failed. Like a sad limp flower, flailing in the wind- I kept searching for the sun instead of embracing the rain. I was so stuck trying to make the trip all that I had visioned- that I forgot to allow space for the Divine to do its wonders like it always does. I got caught up in my schedule book and didn't spend nearly enough energy listening into my own timing-the complexity of the flow and float-the intricacy of being ALIVE.

Blow after blow, from arguments to illnesses that lasted until 3 days before we were due to leave back to the states- that expectation/control/ego turned into anger, disappointment and insecurity I wasn't expecting at all at this point in my life. I had traveled with my children before, been across the planet, stayed in countless air bnb homes, stretched my wings a thousand times without an issue. So why now?

Looking back now, I realize things didn't subside and the toe stubbing didn't stop until I let go of everything I was holding against myself and this budding program. It wasn't until I really sat back and asked "What is the lesson here? What do I need to tune into?" , that my daughters fevers subsided and the skies opened up for some simple moments joy. The moment I was accepting of my gift to live in this form and exist at this time with so much love around me that I stopped trying to craft reality to my very shifty-gemini liking. There is so much truth in the idea that you don't get always get what you want, but you always get what you need. And I fundamentally *needed to get knocked on my..side ...to deepen, to mature and really birth Transcendent Descendants with the openness we all deserve.

Lessons:

A good friend of mine, a beautiful Black woman creative, living in Aotearoa, said to me as we poured our feelings out to via text about all of the crazy shifts happening in our lives, "I swear I sent the lessons learned through joy message😂😂". Here's to resending that message to the universe(haha).

# A: Letting go of your the stronghold/expectation/control only allows the magic to show up. If we don't open it up and flow- dreams are only constrained by our imaginations and expectations. We have to stop limiting ourselves- let the divine show up in the unimaginable! The sky isn't even the limit, babe.

Letter 2: Listen to wisdom and make room for it- especially the wisdoms of OUR BABIES. Of course we are here to help guide and keep them safe in life, but that doesn't mean their inclinations mean nothing and they hold no wisdom. This sense of home my children spoke about made me reconsider the ideas I had originally dreamt up for this program.

C: Softening works way better for me than toughening up. I'm sure people define "toughening up" in different ways. In this instance, I am finding strength in recognizing the dynamic act of living and approaching obstacles with this in mind. The toughness in me, I feel, has in the past been defined by anger and rage. At this point in my life, that doesn't hold space. I find peace, even rest, in not shying away from pain or distress but approaching them openly and finding the next best thing to do. Most times, this is ALL that I can do- especially with situations out of my "control". Finding softness, stillness, to be with present circumstances and the emotions behind it- while focusing on breath until I can seek support/navigate through is the technique that is showing up best for me right now...

4: This program is going to look a lot like life. Instead of controlling this vision, I am flowing with its evolution and taking the wisdom of every day life to continue to wrap it in love, intention and gratitude. I do not want to perpetuate current systems of education, the misconceptions of what is perceived of homeschooling/unschooling/worldschooling. I want us to do US. Not conform to anyone else's mold or each other's. My main focus is to support these already beautiful journeys we venture down collectively and individually in a way that widens the footing-in the name of more play, peace, joy, centered balance and sovereignty.

So we flow and so we GROW. We will have our first set of exposures up on Patreon this month and I hope you all tune into some of this deep love frequency-intuited play-personified joy we have to give!

Here are some snippets of our trip.

I yet and still thank the land of Aotearoa for bringing things out of me. I will be back soon to revel in the beauty as always...